Reading other blogs inspired reminded me to make the customary Summing Up 2009 post. Because 2009 was, for the most part, such a messed up shitty year, it doesn't bring me much joy recapping the year but I feel it's a bit of a must, because what if one day I get into an accident and become amnesiac, forgetting what has sculpted me through the years, forgetting how far I've come in life? Then I can always refer back to this blog. Aha!!! It's genius!! (Except for the part where amnesia may erase any knowledge of this blog.)

Rest assured this will be the usual wordy post that you can't be bothered finishing after the halfway mark.

Anyhooooos:

I started 2009 with plenty of (naive?) hope, optimism, but also some trepidation and a whole lot of expectations. I saw HC as an experience that must be more enjoyable than Nanyang Girls': after all, the uniform is already that much better. Overall, I shall say that I've been disappointed, disgusted, and filled with horrific realisation that Nanyang was in fact a lot better than HC in almost all aspects - the curriculum, people, campus, food, school management and teachers. Even the uniform was better, I realised, regardless of how other people may make fun (hell, even I did!) of the sleeveless, potato sack-ish uniform - it is actually a whole lot more comfortable than the JC uniform, and I actually prefer how I looked in it, hahah.

That said, HC wasn't a giant disaster entirely, of course. Orientation was (kind of) a blast. The bonding between OG mates (most of which didn't manage to last the whole year, unfortunately), the many many new friends I managed to make, the games, and the overall I Am A Year One Student And Hence Am Entitled To Feeling That Persistent Sense Of Wonder And Enthusiasm In Almost Anything Possible mood. The realism, complaints and stress set in only later.

Still, amidst the difficult whirlwind (or some may say, rollercoaster) pilgrimage to search for something worthwhile to believe in, to grasp onto, to momentarily lose oneself in, there was always that bunch of people that seem almost gratuitious that I sometimes start to take them for granted. Friends laughed, brooded, indulged and wept with me. We got stressed and broke down together. They held my hand through difficult times, whilst I tried my best to hold theirs. They offered a listening ear, a comforting shoulder, a reassuring hug. We had bimbotic, gossipy and bitchy moments together, moments when we seemed to find every little thing funny and laughed till we cried, and of course those Gorge Till We Die ice-cream sessions, normally after some good ol' boy-bashing and a whole lot of sighing, indignation, depression and finally resignation.

Secrets were shared, hearts were broken, and promises were kept (Yes, this is a particularly salient point of 2009).

The past year was also by far, to say the least, one of my most turbulent. Yet, it is still miraculous and encouraging to find that while all that fucked up shit was going on, a silver (sometimes a few thousand tonnes) of comfort and hope was just around the corner (or just a phone call or sms away).

I have my sincerest thank-yous to say to:

Xin Yu
For being such a dear friend and being absolutely there for me when I was at my absolute most vulnerable this year. All my heartfelt thanks have already been written in the birthday letter for her, hehe. So I shan't say much else except that we've got one pretty (and) awesome girlfriend here.

Tenille
Also for being such a patient listener and being absolutely there for me when I was at my absolute most vulnerable this year (same incident as the one Xinyu helped me with). You must be damn sick of my emo-ing and complaining all the time, hahaha, thank you for being there nonetheless and still offering a unique perspective, loads of good advice and much-needed comfort. I'm really grateful for your friendship this year! You're a truly unique and sincere person, and yknw what, remember not to give a single damn about the nasty stuff people have said to you this year. WE MUST STAY FRIENDS AH!

Chinsian
YOYOYOYO Thanks for zi-highing almost every single time and instantly cheering me up! You don't emo so much also, last time you were so much more happy-go-lucky, and like you always tell me, must 看开一点 and 不要想太多! (: Sorry for pangseh-ing you the other time, really really sorry! I promise to make it up to you in the future! (: I still remember you helping me with my studies during the Blocks and Promos periods: really thank you sooooo much. You've always been dependable and also very understanding every single time I emo to you; I especially appreciate the times when we gang up together to make fun of Xinyu (sorry xy hahah) and high-five after that! Haha! I really hope very much that we (including TOPG!) can still be friends many years down the road.

Qianwen
For sharing those emo moments together with me, stressing and mulling over the same stuff. I don't think you know this, but I treasure our HTHs a lot because you're one of the few when I can truthfully blurt out all my concerns and misery to without worrying how you'll judge me. Don't shop/club/emo already!! TOPG ftw okay? (: 2010 will be better, I promise.

Nigel
For being such a great help (even if you don't realise it) and generally for cheering me up every time we talk; you never seem to feel down, you know, and it's INSPIRING. Haha. Like I told Jonshin, you'll make a superb boyfriend, because you're like the perfect blend of wit, wisdom, sensitivity, level-headedness, and... okay being overall really awesome and nice. Reading your (usually) lengthy smses always makes me feel better, and you give really nice advice too. I must say it's slightly frustrating the way you tend to ignore some of what I say on MSN, but that's just what makes Nigel Nigel. And by the way you sometimes intimidate me and cause me to hold my tongue a lot.

Issac
For being so accomodating that night at your school, and of course for always listening to me rant and being grouchy! (: Even though we only started talking rather late in 2009, your friendship is already precious to me and it's pretty amazing how I can manage to find a guy like you who likes shopping as much as I do (or perhaps more) and still remain so... 'heterosexual'? Hahaha. Thank you especially for keeping me occupied with smses when I was sometimes bored to death in Taiwan.

Yuqi
For tolerating my complaints and allowing me to cry on your shoulder that night in Taiwan. I think you're a really great friend, even though we aren't super close or anything, and your frank attitude towards people and life is hard to come by, and you're a very strong person in the face of adversity too. Thank you for those brief times in TIP when you listened to me rant or zi-high when you yourself weren't really in the mood.

(Okay this is getting so wordy even I am starting to be turned off)

Shan't dwell on such mushy stuff so I'm gna simply list all those who made 2009 less of a lousy year for me!

Thank you: Sheila (you damn crappy man but always brighten up my life~ HAHA), Shiyin, Leona (esp. for helping me for Math during Promos also! and for bitching about CCA with me), Zhuoda, Youhao (for talking to me even though I know you quite irritated sometimes haha, and thanks for not judging me), Juncen, Chewfei, Danette, Shixuan, Yeongtyan, Ebony, Yenseow, Yizhuang, Lester, Xu Lie, Shumei, Jane, Kahhsing, Kahyi, Yufong, Weilong, Joel David (why so busy this year?! hahah), Dillon, Melvin, Aikloong, Junlong, Wilson, Yujun, Randy, Darren, Jhunboon, Zhenlun, Yanzhi, Lincoln, Junhong, and Bixuan!

2009 was also a year of Firsts. First time having such chaotic and overlapping relationships at one time, first time becoming close to the people I was going on an overseas school trip with, first time clubbing (oh god it was horrible), first time leaving home in pique (and for several days), first time impulsively deciding to spend the night at a random school campus (haha Issac), first time dressing 'goth', first time running around looking for a bus stop in the rain at the dead of night, first time bickering with the jealous and unreasonable girlfriend of a male friend, first time going to Escape Theme Park in at least 5 years, first time drinking, first time eating snails, first time going on a mad shopping spree overseas, first time having a serious panic attack in public, first time bursting into tears, first time mountain-trekking, first time "playing" pool, first time going crazy over fooseball, first time singing without inihibitions at KBox, and plenty others...

I adopted several new vices in 2009 as well, one of them being the addiction to Gossip Girl, Sex And The City and How I Met Your Mother. My music taste also shifted slightly more to dance songs and a lot of acoustic, indie-pop, and/or alternative band stuff. I'm not sure where I should mention this, but my diet also changed slightly. And I finally gained 2kg, making me momentarily ecstatic, only to lose that weight within a month just as suddenly as I put it on.

Definitely 2009 saw quite a lot of other changes in myself, some of which I didn't even notice until someone pointed it out to me. I think I got more (openly) emotional, more mellowed, more decisive, more courageous, more open-minded, more cynical and jaded, and more susceptible to cheap thrills (alas..!). I also began to take a lot more concrete action rather than just talking about any one thing, and took more initiative about various matters. Most of all, I learnt the importance of individuality and believing in oneself, as well as the significance of Friends.

I hoped that in 2009 I've made a (positive) impact on at least a few lives, be it a stranger's or friend's. I promise to be less caught up with myself in 2010, and be more driven and focused in everything that I do... including keeping my New Year Resolution! :P

SORRY I'M SO BLOODY LONG-WINDED AND DOUBLE-POSTED TWO BLOODY LONG POSTS TODAY.

BYEEEE! (: Happy New Year to all.

THIS:

IS ORGASMIC AWESOME!

According to Jonshin, though, all it does is that it "tells us that this year, A major, D major and Fsharp minor are the most popular keys".